What's a Mother Blessing?

Many of you have been asking about the Mother Blessing I mentioned in Katelyn's birth story. I'm here to answer your questions. :) 

What is a Mother Blessing?

A Mother Blessing is an alternative to a baby shower. While baby showers are usually focused on providing temporal preparations for the baby, a Mother Blessing ceremony focuses more on the transition into motherhood and on supporting and preparing the mother spiritually and emotionally for the event of childbirth.

I wanted to hold a Mother Blessing with this pregnancy because some dear friends and neighbors had already given me all the clothes, etc. that I would need for a baby girl, and we try to go pretty light on the baby gear around here, so I already had everything I would need (pretty much a stretchy wrap and a pair of lactating breasts :). I didn't want a baby shower, but I did want to visit with and feel the support and spirit of my female relatives and friends.  Especially with this transition from 2 to 3 children, I was really desiring the strength from my fellow sisters. So I decided on a Mother Blessing. 

A Mother Blessing is usually a small gathering of women, commonly held, especially in the LDS culture, up until the middle of the 20^th century. I hoped to renew this tradition of woman-to-woman support and spiritual bonding. You may also find people (especially online) using the terms "Mother Blessing" and "Blessingway" interchangeably, but I choose not to do that in respect for the Navajo culture. In the Navajo tradition, a Blessing Way is a rite of passage containing rituals and prayers that begins with a girl's menarche and continues as she grows, bears children, etc. I will leave the Blessing Ways to the Navajo people; I had a Mother Blessing. 

What happens at a Mother Blessing?

Really, a mother can choose any activities she feels will strengthen her for the coming childbirth. If you do a bit of googling, you will find many ideas. 

I chose to divide my Mother Blessing (which I threw for myself; that's okay, too) into two parts: Past and Future. 

For the activities of the past, I asked my guests to come prepared with the names of their mothers and grandmothers, and a memory or story about one of them to share. As we sat around my dining room table, each woman shared the names and stories and lit a candle to represent the women who have gone before us and who are close to the veil when a baby is born. I wanted to remember them and invite the strength and presence of angels for my birth. 

During this time, one of my friends brought a painting of Heavenly Mother, a copy of which  used to hang in the Jordan River Temple women's dressing room. Her own mother had it hanging in her house for many years. 

Also during this part of the Mother Blessing, my mom presented me with a baby quilt she, her sisters, and my sister had all worked on that weekend. It was made from a remnant of fabric my maternal grandmother (who has now passed) had in her fabric stash. 

When we completed our sharing, I had them blow out the candles and asked my guests to take them home and light them when I went into labor (it was Brandon's job to text everyone and let them know). I found strength in the visualization of all the lit candles scattered in different homes, that all of the women who love me best would be thinking of me and praying for me as I labored. 

When we had all shared about the women in our past, we moved to another room in the house for the Future portion of the Mother Blessing. For this, I had asked my guests to please choose and/or create and bring a bead or charm that represented something about our relationship or the wishes and hopes they had for my birth and motherhood. I told them we would use the beads to create a piece of jewelry, and I will wear it in labor. This became my Mother Blessing necklace. 

I told them that, as they presented the bead, they were free to share the bead's meaning and why they chose it, and any quotes, stories, songs, poems, and/or scriptures that help describe the blessings they wished for me in my upcoming labor, birth, and new motherhood.

The beads and their meanings: 

Blue bead with white swirls, which she made of clay: from my friend whose yoga class I attend--to represent the flow of birth and to surrender to it. There also happened to be two heart shapes in the bead--one for my heart, and one the baby's heart. 

Bird charms: from my mother, to represent a story she told me when I was younger about my worth and my talents. She had a different meaning for each type of bird; for example, the hummingbird is one of the smallest birds, but also the strongest, so when I am feeling small, to remember my strength. 

Heart charm with "Daughter": from a friend in the ward; in honor of my having my first daughter, and also that I am a daughter of the Most High.

Faceted Crystal: from Brandon's grandma--to remember the many facets of motherhood, and how the light hits all of them at different times, beautifying all around it. 

Crystallized marbles: from my aunt. They were originally from a necklace passed down from my maternal great-grandmother, then on to my grandmother, and my aunt, and now me. To remember the many generations of mothers before me. 

Bumble bee charm: From my mother-in-law, along with her favorite scripture from the Doctrine and Covenants. It was to remind me of the talk by Elder Ballard, "Be Anxiously Engaged" ,  wherein he talks about each bee only making 1/16 of a teaspoon of honey, but how they all do a small part and make enough honey for winter (and even, enough to be harvested). So to remember that my everyday mothering efforts will cumulatively make an enormous difference. 

Small friendship braid: from my sister, who lived with us on the weekends one summer, while she worked as a counselor at Oakcrest, an LDS summer camp for girls. She made the braid to remind me of that summer, and to represent Brandon's and my strength as we worked together, for the birth and for parenting afterward.  

I love every single bead, and it was very therapeutic for me to sit and use jump rings to attach them all to a chain one night. I think it was 3 days before Katelyn was born, actually. And you can read in Katelyn's birth story how the necklace helped me during labor. 

After we were done sharing our beads and their meanings, we closed by singing "As Sisters in Zion". Then we had some food. :) 

It was wonderful to chat with my family and friends. I wish my midwife and her assistant could have been there, but I know they were there in spirit. :) Please let me know if you have any other questions about Mother Blessings. 

And here's a parting shot of the little cutie that all these preparations were for. :) Katelyn at 6 weeks old.