Caleb James is here!
Born 3 July 2010, 12:44 PM
at 38 weeks, 3 days gestation
8 lbs, 8 oz. 20 inches
(if you'd like to compare/contrast with Scott's birth story, you can read it here)
*Also, just a disclaimer. This is really detailed, and might be boring/grossing out to some. Here is a link to a short n' sweet version, if you prefer.
Friday, July 2 started out pretty normally; Fridays are one of my days off from teaching at BYU-I, so I usually catch up on housework and teach a few private lessons here and there with my Idaho Falls students. I was feeling very pregnant, so I cancelled most of my normal lessons and had only one "emergency" coaching to do. Then we had a BBQ with some friends in the ward later that night. All during the dinner, everyone was saying how I finally looked pregnant and asking me how I felt. I felt ready to have a baby! Well, in body, anyway. In mind, half of me was just ready to "get my body back", but the other half of me couldn't let go of all the preparations I still "had" to make (like mopping the floor, cleaning out the fridge and bathrooms, filling up the birth tub, making all the casseroles, buying new nursing bras and sewing nursing pads, etc, etc, etc) before the baby was allowed to come. Well, my body had other ideas. :)
During the BBQ I was having intermittent contractions, but they weren't any more bothersome than the Braxton Hicks I'd had in previous weeks. We left a little early to put Scott to bed and get some sleep ourselves, when Brandon's good friend and former roommate called and said he would be stopping in town in 20 minutes on a roadtrip, and could we meet him at the Greenbelt and walk by the temple? Well, of course we could. Scott was pretty keyed up from running around at the BBQ, and a stroller ride might be just the thing to help him calm down. So we went on a walk.
As we strolled and chatted with James, I noticed the contractions start to strengthen, but I could still pretty much walk through them. I thought, "my body must be preparing for birth in the coming weeks. I'm probably getting to a 2 right now. That's so nice."
When we got home from that excursion, I put Scott down, feeling contractions all through "Clifford the Big Red Dog Goes to the Beach" and "Love You Forever". Then I went downstairs and told Brandon I wanted to set up the birth tub for the coming weeks. You know, just so it was ready. For some time in the future.
He did a great job blowing it up, but when it came to actually filling it with water, we discovered we didn't have the right kind of hose-to-faucet connection, so we left that to the next day. Then we headed downstairs to relax and watch some TV. Oh, and I made Brandon start timing contractions. Just to have as a reference for when *real* labor started. You know. In a few weeks.
At this point, they were a minute and twenty seconds long and about 5 minutes apart. Our midwives told us to call them when contractions were 60 seconds long and 5 minutes apart. I should have called them then, but I didn't think the contractions were strong enough to be actual labor. They were making me moan a *little*, but they weren't bad. Plus, they were all bottom pressure, and online it said that *real* contractions would start at the top of the uterus and move down. That's not what I was feeling, so I was good, right?
Let me pause here and say that I felt vulnerable this time around, not knowing what going into labor naturally really feels like. I'd been induced with Scott, and so I felt like I wouldn't know what *real* labor contractions felt like or when I was really in labor. I think that's another reason why I was in denial for so long. :)
So, I should have called my midwives Friday night, but by the time the contractions were that strong and long and close together, it was midnight and I knew what they would have said: try to get some sleep. If you can't sleep within an hour and they get stronger, call us and we'll come. So I went to sleep. And slept the night. In fact, I slept quite restfully. :) (what a blessing!)
However, when Scott came in at 6:30 AM on July 3rd to tell me he was SO hungry and wanted some "breakstist", contractions started right up again. I remember changing Scott's poopy diaper that morning amidst a contraction that I had to breathe through and thinking "I am in labor! I should NOT have to deal with this!". Then I immediately told myself, that no, I was not in labor, let's get dressed and go to my parent's ward breakfast.
We had a huge yummy breakfast at 9AM and headed to the parade, which started at 10 AM (me contracting the entire time). We met up with my parents and got settled in to watch. I told Brandon he needed to start timing my contractions. He only had his phone which doesn't time seconds, but we figured at about 11AM that the contractions were over a minute long, between 4 and 5 minutes apart, and really strong. We packed up and left Scott with my parents. The people behind us at the parade route were good-naturedly giving us a hard time for leaving early, but I told them we were leaving to have a baby, and they moved out of our way pretty quickly after that. :)
Walking back to the car was really hard for me. I had to stop moving and lean on Brandon for support each time a contraction hit me. But between contractions, I could still move really well. Brandon said, "You're going to call the midwives now, right?" He's so good at not putting pressure on me. :) I think he was starting to get a little nervous at this point. :)
We got to the car and I called Kathy. I told her I had some "pretty good contractions" and how long they'd been lasting. I said I wasn't sure if I was really in labor yet, since I'd never felt a *natural* labor. She told us to go home and time them for another half hour and let her know how it went. I agreed. I had needed to pee for awhile, and thought if I emptied my bladder that would let some of the pressure off and the contractions would calm down (as was my experience with Braxton Hicks in the past).
We got home, me moaning through every contraction. Brandon at this point was thinking "Oh, I've heard these sounds before. She's really in labor. I better speed." But did he say anything to me?! NO. :) I wish he would have told me that I was labor for real, because I was still in denial. :) And trying to deal with the pain and pressure in a bumpy car. :)
We got home and, after shouting instructions to Brandon (put the baby carseat in the car in case we need to transport to the hospital, fill up the birth tub with water as a fast as you can so I can labor in it, put a water proof sheet on our bed), I went to the bathroom. There was bloody show, so I told Brandon to call Kathy and tell her to come right away. Then, I knew it was for real. We were having a baby, and very shortly, because when I was on the toilet, I was afraid to empty my bowels because I also had the urge to push, and I didn't really want to have the baby over the toilet! This was at about 11:30 AM.
With Brandon's help, I made it upstairs to our bed between contractions. I could no longer move or stand up or sit up during contractions, and I definitely had to vocalize to get through them. Brandon had come to the conclusion that the birth tub would not be able to be filled, so that wasn't an option anymore. :( I tried getting into our tub thinking I would labor in there for awhile until the midwives got there, but it was muddy from our garden hose and also felt really hard and uncomfortable to me. I just gave up on the idea of being able to labor in water, let alone giving birth there. But that's OK. Concessions must be made during birth, because you never know what life will throw at you! So I labored leaning on my bed in a kneeling position for a contraction or two, but felt most comfortable laying on my right side on my bed.
So the next minutes are really hazy to me. Brandon tells me that Valerie (the midwife's assistant) arrived at 12:05 PM, and Kathy (the midwife) got there at about 12:15 PM. Kathy, in her haste, actually ran into our neighbor's condo on the other end and asked them whether we were upstairs or downstairs. They kindly told her it was the wrong house and showed her where we were. :) I remember grabbing Valerie's hand when she got there and telling her "I'm *so* glad you're here" because I wanted to push and I was just holding it back until they got there. Then my water broke (in a quite spectacular burst, appropriate for the 4th of July weekend, I might add :) at 12:36PM.
Brandon during that time was running around trying to fill the birth tub, picking up the clutter, getting the baby carseat ready, applying counterpressure to my back during contractions, and whispering encouraging things in my ear when I ordered him to. :) He is so great at dealing with a bossy wife. :) The midwives scurried to get everything ready, but Brandon says that he didn't think it looked like they were able to do everything they wanted to before I asked them when I should push. I was really worried about pushing because midwives do not typically check you to see how far you are dilated (they'd rather that you listen to the cues your body is giving you). But they will check you, if you ask. I was torn. I HATE being checked, but I was worried about not knowing and pushing at the wrong time and the baby getting stuck or something. But Valerie said a very empowering thing to me: "When it's time to push, you'll know because it will feel good. If you push too early, it won't feel right and you'll know to back off. Wait until the feeling to push is so overwhelming that you can't hold it off anymore, and it will be time."
So the next contraction I had, I decided to do a little experiment and push. It didn't feel so great. The next one, though was the one. I told them (more like wailed it out, I think :) I felt like pushing and began doing so. They ran over from across the room where they'd been preparing things and Kathy helped brace my arm and left leg. With that contraction, the head crowned. This was about 12:39PM or so. Valerie told me the baby had lots of hair. At that point, I didn't care. :) But it was a nice peripheral fact, like if you were at the end of running a marathon and someone told you that there was a rainbow over the mountains behind you. Brandon was standing to the back holding the flashlight up to give lots of light to the business end of things.
With the head crowning, I was in the "Ring of Fire" and I knew the "breaking in half" sensation of birthing the entire head was coming. I was scared of it, and so I held back. Kathy encouraged me not to do this, but to push with the next contraction. There was quite a break before the next contraction (probably also a result of my trepidation--isn't it interesting how our thoughts affect how well our bodies work!). But during that time, I made up my mind to "get mad" and push that baby out! So with the next contraction, Caleb's head was fully born.
I remember thinking then that all my work would be over. The body would just slip right out and I'd be done with all this pushing. But no. :) Caleb's head was blue and the cord was wrapped around his neck twice, and he didn't cry right away, so Kathy told me to hurry and birth the shoulders. I said "What if I'm not having a contraction?" (not wanting to be rushed), and she said to hurry and do it anyway. :) So I pushed out the shoulders, and he cried right away after that. That was 12:44PM. Then Valerie got the cord unwrapped, and immediately gave Caleb to us. Brandon came up on the bed with me, and we just got to love our baby for a little while. It was sublime. Kathy asked if it was really a boy, we checked, and it was!
I got him on the breast (even though he was more interested in licking at first than in suckling), and we just got to snuggle. It was so so lovely not to have Caleb rushed away to be cleaned or to have to cord clamped and cut right away or anything like that. We just got to BE, as a little family. Beautiful.
Then, after a little while, we got the rest of the business done, like delivering the placenta and clamping and cutting the cord (which Brandon got to do). I did spill a bit of blood before the placenta was delivered, and Kathy was worried about it, so she asked my permission to give me a shot of Pitocin and I gave my consent. There were no problems after that. I just have "road burns", no real tears. There was a bit bigger one near my urethra, but they felt it didn't affect anything structural and will heal fine without a stitch.
So for the official documentation, Kathy counted that I began active labor at 11AM when we decided to leave the parade. She didn't count the night before because I slept so peacefully and was not awakened by contractions (which I am still so thankful for!). So I was in active labor for about 90 minutes and then pushed for about 15 and there he was!
Caleb is so beautiful, healthy and strong, and calm as can be. His development is perfect, and I'm so happy that we could welcome him into the peaceful atmosphere of our home. Brandon felt he was much more involved this time around, and I felt more confident knowing the environment I'd be laboring in. Even though it wasn't in water, it also wasn't in a hospital room that I've never seen before, and where I don't know the unspoken rules of what's acceptable and what's not. It was in my own cosy home, and I'm so happy.
I love what Brandon said to me after the whole ordeal was over: "You know, family pictures aren't any fun when you're an adult, either. I remember, as a kid, thinking 'No, not family pictures again. I hate these.' But it's even worse when you're the dad, and you have to wrangle the crazy toddler!"
